Parenting Time: Am I Going to Lose My Kids During Divorce?

 Posted on October 07, 2024 in Family Law

Going through a divorce and worrying about parenting time issues is undoubtedly one of life's most challenging experiences. For parents, the prospect of not seeing their children every day can be heart-wrenching. Questions about divorce and child custody are common, and concerns about how these changes will affect children are valid. Fortunately, with the right strategies and mindset, you can create a custody arrangement that prioritizes your children's well-being.

Understanding Custody in Divorce

In Illinois, "custody" is often called the "allocation of parenting time," which encompasses custody, visitation, and decision-making responsibilities. Parents must attend a parenting class to understand the effects of divorce on children and learn how to co-parent effectively. You will also need to develop a "parenting plan," outlining major decisions in education, religion, medical care, extracurricular activities, and how parental time will be divided.

Coping Strategies for Divorcing Parents

Engage in Open Communication

Clear and respectful communication with your soon-to-be ex-spouse is crucial. Strive to discuss and agree on major decisions regarding your children. Doing so benefits your children and shows them that both parents are united in their love and support.

Consider Mediation

Mediation is a valuable option if you and your spouse struggle to reach an agreement. A neutral third party can facilitate discussions and help both parties reach a mutually beneficial arrangement. Mediation is less adversarial than court proceedings and can save time and money while reducing emotional stress for everyone involved.

Prioritize Your Children’s Needs

It is essential to prioritize your children's needs over your own. This means being flexible with schedules and willing to compromise for the benefit of your children. Realistic parenting time should consider work commitments, school schedules, and the children's extracurricular activities.

Legal Advice and Support

If mediation fails, the court may appoint a guardian ad litem or a child's representative to investigate and make recommendations in the children's best interest. This step is costly and time-consuming, and it can involve multiple parties like teachers, coaches, and family members.

Unfortunately, when parents cannot agree, the children suffer the most. They might feel torn between parents, experience anxiety and depression, and face a decline in academic performance and friendships. Thus, it is imperative to find a resolution before reaching this stage.

Effective Custody Arrangements

After years of assisting families, I have found that successful custody arrangements often involve:

●     Collaborative Planning: Families should engage in collaborative methods to develop a parenting plan that suits their unique circumstances.

●     Realistic Schedules: Consider each parent's and child's schedules to ensure parenting time is manageable and beneficial for everyone.

●     Focus on Stability: Children thrive on routine and stability, so try to maintain consistency between households as much as possible.

●     Supportive Co-parenting: Encourage your children to have positive relationships with both parents, emphasizing that they are loved by both.

Contact Parenting Time Attorneys for Guidance

Divorce is not easy, but it does not have to devastate your children. By approaching custody arrangements with empathy, understanding, and cooperation, you can create an environment where your children feel secure and loved. Remember, you and your spouse know your family better than anyone, and focusing on your children's well-being is crucial.

Creating an amicable parenting time schedule may be difficult for families during a divorce. At Ariano Hardy Ritt Nyuli Richmond Lytle & Goettel P.C. (AHR), our family law attorneys will work on your behalf to develop a parenting plan that allows for both parents to play a significant role in your child's life. Contact our office today for a free consultation at 847-695-2400. We serve clients in Elgin, St. Charles, Huntley, and throughout Illinois.